10 Things I Learned from 30+ Years as a DM

Being a Dungeon Master isn’t about being perfect—it’s about creating a fun, collaborative, and memorable game. Over the years, I’ve picked up a few lessons that have helped me (and my players) enjoy the journey a lot more. Here are the first five:

1. You Are Welcome Here

The first rule of running a game is that everyone at the table should feel like they belong—including me. Before rolling a single die, I always take time to talk with my players. What kind of game do they want? What boundaries or expectations do they have? That conversation—what many call Session Zero—sets the foundation for a safe, fun table. It’s not about knowing every rule—it’s about making a space where everyone can share in the story.

2. There’s No One Right Way to Play

It’s easy to feel like you need to run your game like the polished podcasts or shows you love. But every table has its own rhythm. Some groups love tactical combat; others want political intrigue or wild comedy. My job isn’t to copy someone else—it’s to find what works for my players. Paying attention to when they lean in or light up is where the magic really begins.

3. It’s Okay to Mess Up

Every DM makes mistakes. I’ve forgotten rules, mispronounced names, and messed up storylines. But those mistakes build trust—and often lead to some of the best moments in a game. Like the time I accidentally reused the same NPC name. Instead of panicking, I turned it into a running joke and a secret society in the world. Rolling with mistakes keeps things fun and collaborative.

4. Don’t Try to Win. Just Try to Story.

When I was younger, I thought being the DM meant trying to “beat” the players. But I’ve learned that’s not what the game is about. I’m not the final boss—I’m the stage manager. My job is to make the players shine, to help them tell their story. Let them take big swings, let them fail gloriously. The real win is the shared story and the memories we make around the table.

5. You Can’t Always Plan the Awesome

No matter how much I prep, the moments my players remember most are usually the ones that happen unexpectedly. The best moments are when they laugh, lean forward, and all start quoting the same scene over and over again. That’s the good stuff—those surprises are what make the game feel alive.

For the rest of my tips—and to go deeper into these five—make sure you check out the full video.

Cheers,
Brian